The Speed Weapon!

During a recent pilgrimage to the OC I came across a man considering altering a perfect bicycle. I approached him and offered huge bank for the bicycle in its "as is" condition. There was confusion in the gentleman's eyes and he countered my offer with a higher number. To his lunge I parried with a direct blow to the middle ground and the deal was set. My new love, a serious endurance strength building rig that would surely catapult me into the stratosphere of cyclings speed and power elite! I shared this beauty with my pal, Tim, at Crankbrothers, he was dumbfounded, befuddled, mesmerized and left in stitches laughing at my new love....he did ask to ride it, though: