Back on the bike....and wishing it was a Trike

So, finally, after far too long sitting on the sidelines I have returned to the bike! Oh, the joy! Then I realized it really sucks.

When you are fit I truly believe we take the fitness for granted. Aside from gaining pounds and hair on my legs (something my wife was very happy about), sitting and waiting causes the mind to embellish what you think you have in the way of strength, power, and endurance. As I drive down Pacific Coast Highway and see the cyclists I SEE myself gaining on them, sitting on their wheels, then gassing them and popping them off the back. Oh, the truth, the truth, is soooo painful once my trusty steed is once more mounted and readied for battle on the tarmac.

I set off feeling the wind whip through the hair on my legs...of course this is the reason I can't top 13 miles per hour! I roll on feeling the heat in my chest rising and the drip of sweat trickling down my man boobs to the pooch of a stomach that was once, dare I say, ripped!??? I carry on each pedal stroke more labored than the previous; each breath shallower than the last - where, OH F-ing WHERE, is a group that I can sit in and suck wheel? I plod along reminiscing of a past so much better, fitter, faster. At last, I hear "On your left..." They whizz by me as if I am standing still, I take a breath (deep as I can under the strain of just rolling along) and bridge up to this group, (my saviors). Oh the GODs must have heard my cries, the gleam of kits, the whir of freewheels, the click of gears, (the f-ing blistering pace!) The joy does not last long. I quickly realize that this 'group' is moving very fast AND they are taking turns at the front. I have absolutely nothing to give - I am spent, I am extra weight, I am certainly NOT ment to be along for this ride. As the front rider peels off and slides back I motion to her to go in front of me and with a snarled lip she obliges ...I am not long for this 'group'. I am once again alone, now gasping, heart racing, sweat dripping, eyes burning, ego crushed. I roll home.